小學生英語幽默故事在線閱讀

❶ 英語幽默小故事5篇

英語 故事 會出現學生認識或是不認識的單詞，而這個單詞的重復不斷出現，會加深同學們對單詞的記憶。這種記憶不是死記硬背，而是在潛移默化中，讓學生記住。這次我給大家整理了英語幽默小故事，供大家閱讀參考。

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英語幽默小故事1

Don't Pick Up the Money on the Ground

An economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.

Why not?

If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

別撿地上的錢

一位經濟學教授和一名學生正在大街上行走，這時他們看到前面的人行道上躺著一張20美元面值的鈔票。學生走過去准備撿，教授制止了他，告訴他別自尋煩惱。

「為什麼不撿?」

「假如那是一張真20美元鈔票的話，早就有人撿走了。」

「該發明的都已經被發明出來了。」

英語幽默小故事2

The Less You Know, the More Money You Make

Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.

Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.

Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have

Knowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.

Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.

知識越少掙錢越多

定理：工程師和科學家永遠應當比經濟專家掙錢少。

下面是對該定理的一個嚴格的數學證明：

假設一：知識就是力量(Power)。

假設二：時間就是金錢。

每個工程師都知道：功率(Power)= 。既然知識=力量，時間=金錢，我們有：知識= 。求解金錢表達式，我們得到：金錢= 。

因此，當知識趨於零時，無論你做了多少功，金錢趨於無窮大。

結論：知識越少，你掙得的金錢就越多。

英語幽默小故事3

They Should Be Playing at Night

A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing. The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to some frustration among the three. Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over to them. He introces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he is with is blind! The aide thanks the three in appreciation for their patience for the blind golfers. The priest goes, "Oh no, all my life I've preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about the blind!" The therapist says, "I've been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, shame on me!" The economist says, "Oh no! They should be playing at night."

他們本該在晚上打球

神父、心理學家和經濟學家三人結伴打高爾夫。前面的一組打球進度極其緩慢，這讓三人大為惱火。他們開始抱怨，前面那組中的一人聽到抱怨聲後朝他們走了過來。他 自我介紹 說是前面那組球手們的助手，因為那組球手都是盲人。助手感謝他們三位耐心等待。神父聽後忙說：「哦，不會吧?我一輩子都在祈禱同胞們過上更美好的生活，而我卻在這里抱怨這些盲人!」心理學家也趕緊說：「我一生的信條是幫助別人，可是我卻在這里抱怨這些盲人，我真慚愧!」這時只聽經濟學家說：「哦，別這樣!他們本該在晚上打球的。」

英語幽默小故事4

A fellow pilot flying over the Midwest heard an air-traffic controller trying to contact an airliner for normal frequency change.「Flight 354，「said the controller，"contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.「The request was repeated several times with no reply from the pilot.Finally，in exasperation the controller raised his voice."Flight 354，Simon says contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.」The call was acknowledged with an emharrassed reply and prompt compliance.

一名飛行員在中西部上空聽到地面指揮塔的指揮員在呼叫一民航調整其正常接收頻率。"354航班，」指揮塔在呼叫，「請與堪薩斯市中心135.5頻率聯系。」這一指令重復了幾次之後，竟沒得到任何迴音。最後，指揮塔的指揮員顯然是被激怒了，他大聲地銳:"354航班，西蒙說速與135. 5預率聯系。」這一聲顯然奏效，只聽對方慌忙地做了回答並迅速服從了指揮。」

英語幽默小故事5

Even My Driver Can Answer that Question

A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give a series of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For the task, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highly technical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to the economist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I could deliver it myself." The economist found this idea intriguing and decided to switch places with him at his next lecture.

The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some one in the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had no idea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, and then replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."

甚至我的司機都能回答那個問題

一位著名的博弈論專家一獲得克拉克獎便開始在東北部各個知名大學展開一系列講座。為了完成這項任務，他租了一輛車並雇了一名司機載著他到處趕場。沒有別的事可做的司機就坐在課堂里聽專家那科技含量頗高的講座。幾場講座下來，司機對這位經濟學家說：「我聽了這么多次你的講座，我覺得我自己也能講了。」經濟學家覺得這個想法很有趣，於是決定下次作講座時他們兩個互換位置。

司機完美無瑕地完成了演講。可是當講座結束後，聽眾中有人問了他一個技術含量相當高的問題，他不知如何開口回答。司機沉思了一會，回答道：「這個問題太簡單了，連我的司機都能回答。」

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❷ 英語幽默小故事7篇

若是你在 學習英語 的過程中感到很枯燥，不妨來讀一些英語幽默小 故事 放鬆放鬆。英語幽默故事簡短，內容詼諧幽默，情節生動有趣，相信在你在閱讀的同時也可以一起學習英語哦。這次我給大家整理了英語幽默小故事，供大家閱讀參考。

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英語幽默小故事1

My husband，Michael，a bus driver，was passing a deserted bus stop when one of his passengers called out that a woman wanted to get on. He pulled up to the curb and opened the doors.

我丈夫，麥克是個開大巴士的。一次當他剛要開過一個無人上下車的車站時，一位乘客喊過有位老婦人要上車。麥克把車停靠在馬路邊，打開了車門。

After a minute，Michael saw an elderly woman with a cane crossing the street slowly.

過了足有一分鍾，麥克才見到一位老太太拄著拐杖，慢騰騰地過著馬路朝車子走來。

He waited patiently as she made her way to the bus and climbed the steps.

麥克襯心地等她來到汽車旁上著台階。While she was looking in her purse for her bus pass，he began to close the doors.」Wait a minute!」she snapped."My mother's coming.」

趁老太太打開錢包找月票的工夫，麥克欲關門，老婦人阻止道:「等一會，我媽媽還在後面呢!」

英語幽默小故事2

Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."

Bernie應邀來到他的朋友Morris家吃晚餐。在朋友家，Bernie發現，不管問他老婆什麼問題，Morris總要在每句話的前面加上一些親密的稱呼，象蜜糖，我的愛人，親愛的，甜心等等。Bernie對Morris說，「你們夫妻倆真夠親密的，結婚這么多年了，你還叫她叫得那麼親密。」Morris低下頭，小聲地對Bernie說，「老實跟你說吧，三年前我忘記老婆的真名是什麼了。」

英語幽默小故事3

Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?" His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."

兩個男人正在穿過叢林，突然，一隻老虎出現在遠處，向他們沖來。 其中的一個人從包里拿出一雙「耐克」鞋，開始穿上。另一個人驚奇地看著他說，「你以為穿上這個就可以跑得過老虎嗎?」 他的朋友回答道：「我不用跑得過它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。」

英語幽默小故事4

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

一個女孩去 拜訪 她的金發朋友，這個朋友最近養了兩只「狗」，於是女孩問道：「它們叫什麼名字呀?」

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

金發朋友說，一隻叫Rolex，另一隻叫Timex。

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?

女孩說：「哪有狗狗叫這個名字的。」

"HELLLOOOOOOO..." answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"

「那個……」金發朋友說。「他們是監視器!」

英語幽默小故事5

Too Much Pressure

For a couple years I』ve been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job，but now I found out the real reason：I』m tired because I』m overworked.The population of this country is 237 million.104 million are retired.That leaves 133 million to do the work.There are 85 million in school，which leaves 48 million to do the work.Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government，leaving 19 million to do the work.2.8 million are in the Armed Forces，which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.Take from the total the 14.8 million people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.At any given time there are 188，000 people in hospitals，leaving 1，212，000 to do the work.Now，there are 1，211，998 people in prisons.That leaves just two people to do the work.You and me.And you』re sitting at the table reading jokes.

壓力太大

多年以來我一直感到很疲憊，我曾經把原因歸咎為缺乏睡眠以及來自於工作上的巨大壓力。但是，我現在找到了真正的原因：我感到疲倦是因為我超負荷工作。我們這個國家有2.37億人口。其中1.04億已經退休了。還剩下1.33億在工作。有8，500萬人還在上學，工作的就剩下4，800萬。這其中還有2，900萬聯邦政府雇員，真正做事的就剩1，900萬人，又有280萬人在服兵役，就剩下1，620萬人在工作。從中再去掉各州和市政府的雇員1，480萬人，還剩下140萬人工作。但又有18.8萬人生病住院，現在只剩下121.2萬人工作。其中1，211，998人在坐牢。這樣僅剩下兩個人在工作，就是你和我。而你卻坐在桌邊看笑話。

英語幽默小故事6

Top 9 Reasons to Study Economics

Economists are armed and dangerous: "Watch out for our invisible hands."

Economists can supply it on demand .

You can talk about money without ever having to make any.

You get to say "trickle down" with a straight face .

Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out .

When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.

If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE".

Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward , in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue.

When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility.

學習經濟學的九大理由

經濟學家們會武功：「小心我們的無影手。」

經濟學家們能夠做到有求必應。

你可以不必掙錢而對金錢誇誇其談。

你可以開始拉著臉說「涓滴」這一術語了。

米克·賈格爾和阿諾德·施瓦辛格兩人都學過經濟學，看看他們後來都成為了什麼樣的人物。

站在失業隊伍里的時候，至少你會知道自己為什麼失業。

假如重新安排「經濟學」這個詞包含的字母，你得到的是「小丑的鼻子」。

倫理學教導我們堅守德行本身即是回報，在經濟學中我們得到的教導則是獲得回報本身即是德行。

喝醉了的時候，你可以告訴所有人你只是在體驗邊際效用遞減規律而已。

英語幽默小故事7

Nobel Prize in Economics

Economics is the only field in which two people can get a Nobel Prize for saying exactly the opposite thing.

Or Economics is the only field in which two people can share a Nobel Prize for saying opposing things. Specifically, Myrdal and Hayek shared one.

(A rumor has it that there was a similar case in neuroscience, Golgi and Cajal, maybe economists are not so different!)

諾貝爾經濟學獎

兩個持完全不同觀點的人都能夠獲得諾貝爾獎，這種情況只有在經濟學領域才會發生。

或者兩個持完全不同觀點的人能夠分享諾貝爾獎，這種情況也只有在經濟學領域才會發生。具體而言，繆爾達爾和哈耶克就是如此。

(有傳言稱在神經科學領域也有類似情形，比如戈爾吉和卡哈爾，所以經濟學家也許並非那麼另類。)

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❸ 幽默的英語小故事

英語 故事 是英語教材中提升學生學習興趣、展現學習要點的重要載體,是英語教學無法繞過的檻。我整理了幽默的英語小故事 ，歡迎閱讀!
幽默的英語小故事篇一
名聲與艱苦勞動

During the Gulf War，my sister，Jane，bought a flag and asked her apartment's maintenance man, a Vietnam vet，to install a pole for him. When she offered to pay him,he told her there was no way he could take money for putting up the American flag.

海灣戰爭期間，我妹妹珍妮買了一面美國國旗，她請房子的維修工—一位老兵給她豎一根旗桿。當我妹妹為此什給他錢時，他說，他幫助掛美國國旗，無論如何都不該收錢。

Jane contacted her local newspaper，and they published an article about the incident. The next time she encountered the maintenance man, he told her that everyone he knew had read her story and that she had made him a celebrity.Jane jokingly asked for his autograph.

珍妮來到當地報杜，就此事在報上發表了一篇 文章 。當珍妮第二次碰到那位維修工時，他對珍妮說他所認識的人都看了她寫的報章，是她使他成為了名人。珍妮開玩笑地說讓他給簽個名。

"I don't have time,"the man replied. "I'm too busy setting up American flags.」

他回答說:「那我可沒時間，掛美國國旗的事忙得我不可開交。」
幽默的英語小故事篇二
獨自在家

My wife will go to any extreme to keep people from,knowing she is home alone. One evening when I was working late，my wife heard a knock on the door. She ignosed it,but the knocing continued. Frantic，sloe began to bark,softly at first，then louder and louder. Much to her relief,the knocking soon stopped.

我妻子獨自在家時，總是不想讓別人知道家裡沒有其他的人。一天晚上，我搏液工作到很晚。我妻子聽到有人敲門，她就沒理，但敲門的聲音總是不停，慌亂之中，她開始學狗叫。一開始她低聲地叫，隨後她的叫聲越來越大。敲門聲很快地停了，她這才鬆了口氣。

The next day the paper boy came to the door to collect."I came by last night,"he told me,"but I left when your wife barked at me!"

第二天，衡銀銀送報的小孩來我家收錢，那小孩告訴我:「咐宴我昨晚上就來了，你老婆老沖我學狗叫，我就走了。」
幽默的英語小故事篇三
彼得的長相決定了分數

One semester when my brother, Peter，attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis，an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portait for a class.assignment. Peter agreed，and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus.

我兄弟彼得在明尼阿波利斯的明尼索達大學上學時，有一個學期，他的一位學藝術的朋友問他是否可以用他做 素描 的模特作為課堂作業。彼得同意了。那位藝術生畫完了，就把肖像交給了老師。他只得了一個C-.

The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.」The head is too big，」the professor explained.」The shoulders are too wide， and the feet are enormous."

那位藝術生找到教授問為什麼他的分數這么低。教授告訴他肖像中的比例失調，教授說:「腦袋太大，肩太寬，腳也過於大了。」

The next day,the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one Look at my brother."Okay, A minus. "he said.

第二天，那位藝術生帶彼得見教授，教授看了我兄弟一眼，並說:「好，可以得A-。」


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❹ 英語小故事1分鍾幽默

故事教學法在外語學習中的運用取得了良好的效果並且得到了廣泛的運用。我整理了1分鍾幽默英語小故事，歡迎閱讀!

1分鍾幽默英語小故事篇一

The mean man's party

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party.Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment,he said,"Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow.When the door open,push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well,gosh," was the reply,"You're not coming empty-hangded,are you?吝嗇鬼請客

一個出了名的吝嗇鬼終於決定要請一次客了.他在向一個朋友解釋怎麼找到他家時說：“你上到五樓,找中間那個門,然後用你的胳膊肘按門鈴.門開了之後,再用你的腳把門推開.”

“為什麼要用我的肘和腳呢?”

“你的雙手得拿禮物啊.天哪,你總不會空著手來吧?”吝嗇鬼回答.

1分鍾幽默英語小故事篇二

One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

一天，有一個城市裡的遊客來到一個小鄉村，在鄉間路上開著車，想看看農庄是什麼樣子，也想看看農夫怎樣種田過日子。這位城裡人看見一位農夫在宅後的草地 上，手中抱著一頭豬，並把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹上的蘋果。城裡人對農夫說，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋果的，但是，這不是很浪費時間嗎?"那位農夫 回答說，"時間對豬有什麼意義?"

1分鍾幽默英語小故事篇三

a kiss At a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it. The guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a 'KISS' before you begin your speech." The speaker smiled and explained, "You don't know my wife. The 'KISS' she give me stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid.'"

1分鍾幽默英語小故事篇四

The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.

I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....

新老師

9月1日， 喬治放學回到家裡。

喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎? 媽媽問。

媽媽，我不喜歡，因為她說3加3得6, 可後來又說2加4也得6。